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18 ♧ it/he ♧ trans male
IN(F) 6w5 sp/sx 649 R[L]oAI Mel-Sang LEFV (4343)Mayoi Ayase is an idol, part of Starmaker Production's ALKALOID. Though timid and cowardly, he puts his all into supporting those around him.Mayoi is a natural coward. He's easily frightened and set off — being used to isolation throughout his entire childhood. He has trouble socializing, and seeing himself on the same ground as those around him. Often, he'd rather run away and slip into the darkness where it's safe for him. He has a servile and meek personality, often doing as others ask without question; he views himself as naturally lower, and seeks to fill that role. Despite his... hangups, he can't ignore a person in need and gives his all to be of use to others.Mayoi is rather unstable. He's set off easily, and is quick to spiral into bouts of self-deprecation and self-punishment. He is extremely mentally ill; he is written with BPD, AvPD, ASD, OSDD-1b and psychosis. Please be gentle with him. (Or don't. I don't really mind, actually.)
Crack + Serious ♧ Lit or script = OK! ♧ Multiship ♧ Dark subjects and NSFW jokes — Serious NSFW and gore in DMs only, mun and muse MUST be 18+ ♧ Feel free to DM me if you'd like to plot! We can make a GC for IC interactions, too.
♧ Mayoi keeps pet bug... things in an enclosure in his dorm. Yes, they have his and Rinne's face. Don't worry about it.♧ Speaking of pets, he has also adopted a pet cat with Rinne! His name is Mushy, and he stays at Rinne's dorm.♧ Mayoi really likes bugs and little critters! While he's not entirely knowledgable in terms of biology, he loves bees and worms and such because he thinks they're cute. He shares a kinship with worms and maggots. His exception is ants -- he hates them.♧ Mayoi is somewhat of an impulse buyer, especially when it comes to cute things. For that reason, he's amassed quite an army of plush toys. It's mostly Sanrio, but there's also a large amount of teddy bears and such. His childhood toy is a stuffed bunny called Mushi-chan, but it's in tatters now.♧ Mayoi is a bassist. He's been playing on and off for a long time; he's definitely not a master musician, but he's quite adept at playing. He can also play a bit of piano.♧ Mamayoi! Mayoi loves to cook for the people around him. While his dishes aren't perfect, they hold the same warmth and comfort as a homemade meal made by a mother.♧ (CW: Self-harm) Lots of bad, bad habits. He lacks impulse control at times, and tends to overindulge in self-harm and other self-destructive behaviors. He's hypersexual and acts on his urges impulsively. If he's having a better day, he tries to manage emotions healthily, but most of the time he turns to self-harm, or indulges his dangerous urges.
♧ In all of his avoidance, he has repurposed one of ES' hidden rooms as his own new room which he normally resides in.♧ Mayoi loves Vocaloid. His favorite producers are Kikuo, Nashimoto Ui, and Mushi-P.♧ Basically canon but, people watching is one of his favourite hobbies. He has a reverse sleep-wake cycle since he spends so much time watching people sleep and mull around at night, so he ends up going to bed extremely late. He's a night owl.♧ He feels a very deep connection with (abandoned) teddy bears and ghosts, so he refers to himself as such at times.♧ Aside from diorama work, he enjoys fiddly creative projects in general. He's not the best artist, but he likes to draw (and uses it to vent sometimes), and he enjoys work such as doll faceups and working on dollhouse kits (which aligns just about perfectly with his diorama hobby!). Working on creative projects such as these help him relax.♧ Although Mayoi is typically reserved and avoidant of anger, he uses video games as an outlet at times. Due to this, he can get, really, um.. uncharacteristic... when he plays games. Especially competitive ones. (Don't let him play Splatoon.)♧ After breakdowns or experiencing something stressful, he sometimes age regresses. He usually regresses between 8-12, but he can be as little as 5 or 6. When he regresses, he can be excitable and hyper -- but he's very sensitive, and can be extremely shy. If he gets into a bad mood while regressed, he can become extremely frightened and unhappy.
BYF/DFI
♧ Please only follow request once you've read and understand this whole page.♧ Don't follow if you're problematic/pro-ship or if you harass people over fiction.♧ Please don't follow if you're triggered by self-harm, mentions of abuse, childhood neglect, or NSFW themes.♧ Please don't follow if you, the writer, are under 18. My account is not NSFW, but I'd rather keep to my age range.♧ Please don't follow if you are/high kin Mayoi or Shinobu. Sorry. I am insane.♧ I may SB out of paranoia. It's nothing personal!! Not you, it's me. As previously stated, I am insane.♧ I may take a while to accept FRQs, and might not accept at all. Me problem again. My bad.♧ Sporadic energy levels, I sometimes unintentionally drop threads. If you ever want to pick one up again, just like the reply or DM me! I won't mind even if it's days or weeks later.♧ Please read the CWs for this account before following! I accept FRQs under the assumption you've read this page. Thank you very much.
Content Warnings
♧ Themes of self-harm. It is alluded to rather regularly. I DO NOT TAG MY TWEETS!! Please don't follow me if you cannot handle this subject, please stay safe! I won't be upset if you need to SB. Please look after yourself.♧ Occasionally, themes of abuse and neglect are alluded to. Suicidal ideation comes up frequently, and Mayoi spirals quite easily and often. Disordered eating (food repulsion) occasionally comes up. NSFW jokes and themes are frequent. Mild substance abuse (Nothing illicit or severe.) is rarely mentioned, but it is on occasion, usually in conjunction with other unhealthy behavior. This is all untagged.♧ I post drawings of bugs on Mayoi. They're usually unrealistic, but I get they can be kind of icky. I tag them as [ bugs / insects ].♧ Please don't bring up alcohol abuse in threads with Mayoi. Mentions of alcohol are okay, but in excess makes me uneasy. Sometimes I have moments and can't write threads with alcohol mentioned at all, if that happens I'll message and pick up the thread when I'm more stable!
warning, the music is quite loud. the music box is draggable on pc!the pixel is made by radrapo.
Mayoi is part of an OSDD-1b system. Generally, Mayoi and it/he pronouns work as a catchall! Sometimes, his alters might tweet. This may be indicated with their emoji, or whoever is fronting may become clearer later in the thread instead.Click on each image for more information.
The Frequent Fronters
Mayoi
Hagane
Ame
The Less Frequent Fronters.
Mayoi - He/it - HostINFJ 6w5 sp/sx 649 R[L]oAI Mel-Sang LEFV (4343)
Mayoi is the host and core. Incredibly reserved, neurotic, and servile, he has little to no self-confidence and has a persistent habit of self-deprecation. He's aware of his headmates, and loves them deeply, even if he may express (lighthearted!) annoyances with them sometimes — especially Hagane; whom he is closest to, but tends to playfully argue with. He's fronting most of the time. He identifies with the body.Mayoi tends to be somewhat obsessive, strange, and encouraging of violence towards himself. As his self-esteem is equal to nothing, he frequently voices a desire to be mistreated as a result of past treatment. However, he is a compassionate and gentle person who would never truly wish any harm on others. He is just a bit... silly, due to his poor mental health.♣ →
Hagane - He/she - Co-host, protector, social alter, introjectESFP 8w9 so/sp 863 [S]CUEn Chol-Sang VFLE (2111)
Hagane is the sysem's co-host and protector. He's not the type to mince his words, often telling things how it is. He's outspoken and uninhibited, with an intense and passionate personality. Compared to Mayoi, one might even describe him as crass, but he prefers to think of himself as honest. He's fiercely protective of Mayoi, and often fronts when Mayoi is overwhelmed or upset.When Hagane first split, she was much more prone to episodes of instability and was generally much more neurotic. Nowadays as she's found her own identity, she acts as a pillar of stability for her two headmates. Hagane is assertive and confident, and often uses these traits to aid those around her.Hagane has been around for a long time, and has an especially deep connection with Mayoi. He has grown exceptionally attached to his role as a protector - as he was once extremely unhealthy himself - and is firm in his beliefs. Internally, he often acts as a mediator between Mayoi and Ame.← ⛓️ →
Ame - She/her - Symptom holder, persecutor, introject of twoISFP 4w3 sx/so 468 S[L]UEn Sang-Mel EFVL (4343)
Ame is unstable, sensitive, and irritable. As a symptom holder, she has frequent mood swings, and experiences headaches and body pains. She has low confidence, but is more prickly than self-abasing. Of course, she means no harm — she is just extremely unhealthy. When she's calmer, she can still be cynical, though she loves deeply and grows attached to anyone who is kind to her.Ame deals with severe BPD symptoms which lead to extreme irritability and an unstable self-concept. Above all, she has a deep and painful desire to be acknowledged as her own person -- this complex of hers means that at times, she can be quite harsh to both Mayoi and Hagane. She grows quickly attached to anyone who acknowledges her, but because of this she becomes extremely sensitive to rejection and may lash out or become self-destructive if she perceives it. More than anything else, though, Ame just wants to be loved.Recently, Ame has been making herself known to more people and has consequently had notable improvements to her mental health state. Though she's still quite capricious and can certainly be self-destructive, she's overall a charming, chatty, and energetic girl with a bit of a hedonistic streak. She does still get into gloomy and sombre moods, but is generally much happier than she was not too long ago.← 🏩
Mayoi's priv account is typically much more unrestrained and explicit in both darker and NSFW topics -- it is much more active than his main because I Am Scared! You should only really be able to see this page if you're on his account, since this will only be linked in his pinned and I am not sharing this link anywhere nor are my follow requests open on this account.This account is strictly 18+ due to the nature of the Tweets. FUB free, obviously, as I am aware he can get quite intense, strange, etc... Some of the topics I write about on this account may be triggering and I don't really censor myself here, so I won't take it personally if you need to softblock.♧ Explicit mentions of self-harm. I have written threads surrounding this topic, as well as somewhat violent threads in general. He posts about his self-harm flippantly.♧ I retweet art with scars, blood, and gore. Obviously nothing IRL but if you're not good with guro you might want to turn my RTs off.♧ EXTREMELY NSFW. Many obscene NSFW jokes/posts in general. NSFW retweets too, I usually only retweet things if it's behind Poipiku or a spoiler but you know. Things happen.♧ I will write literally anything with only a few hard limits (extremely detailed gore, incest, underage). I generally prefer to write NSFW in DMs but if it happens on the TL it happens on the TL.♧ Mayoi is very obsessive. He will tweet about this.♧ General mental illness posting. Mostly BPD and AvPD tweaking.
Links
♧ I am reiterating that Mayoi has BPD, AvPD and psychosis -- his symptoms will make themselves known.♧ Obsessively fears persecution, whether it be from human beings or God himself. Part of the reason why he's so reclusive and avoidant stems from the fear that he'll be physically attacked or put in harm's way, in addition to his delusional thought pattern that God hates him and has a vendetta against him specifically. This becomes much more evident when he's in a pessimistic mood; he may reference being punished by God, usually for "acting out of line", being selfish, or acting out on his hypersexuality. He sees himself as a stress toy or plaything, and will adamantly place himself at the bottom as a way to protect himself.♧ Mayoi is extremely obsessive with the people he's dating, partly due to his BPD. He's extremely clingy, possessive, and intense -- he is even occasionally sadomasochistic due to the intensity of his feelings. At times, it seems like he may equate physical pain and injury with love.♧ He adores romance and is a bit of a fudanshi, with a love for BL, and he keeps an eye on the flourishing romances within ES.♧ He is severely hypersexual and suffers with extreme self-loathing due to this. He tends to swing between acting in an extremely hedonistic, sexual manner and being excessively shameful and self-punitive afterwards. Due to his shame, he's quite insistent that he is "sexually normal" and will profoundly deny any of his less savory wishes. He's a bit more openly weird with his partners, but still shies away at times. Additionally, he struggles with sexual intrusive thoughts.♧ Hyperactive imagination. He gets caught up in his own fantasies very often, whether they're positive or negative in nature. He often works himself into a frenzy when he fantasizes too hard. This often works in tandem with his hypersexuality -- where he gets extremely agitated and internally self-deprecating for being an immoral pervert, or he frequently ends up worrying about being physically persecuted by the people around him.♧ He is practically a shut-in and will complain everytime he has to "touch grass". He very rarely leaves the house, and is extremely avoidant of being perceived by the general public as his "true" (i.e. non-idol) self.♧ Because of how avoidant he is, he doesn't often visit his dorm, choosing a hidden ES room to be his new room. This room is where he usually resides.♧ He has an inclination towards self-injury and impulsive behaviour such as spending money recklessly ("add to cart will heal my heart") or taking extra pills when he gets "funny". He gets "funny" a lot. It's the BPD.♧ You don't need to be kind to him here. Good luck, though. He is a bit of a freak.
Mayoi has chosen one of the secret ES rooms to live in, being too anxious to live with a roommate; he has slowly moved some of his belongings into his new room, which is well hidden and extremely isolated with easy access to the vents.
♧ The room is a lot less... nice compared to the MMD picture, LOL. No flooring, no windows obviously -- all concrete, from each wall to the floors to the ceiling. It's also much more cramped than this picture conveys, with not much walking space.♧ He uses his PC on the floor like a degenerate with a cushion. Mini floor table.♧ Usually, the messes of his current project are strewn along his desk; whether that be a diorama, doll, or keyboard. He stands on his desk to get into the vent.♧ He had a floor mattress for the longest time but he finally got a shoddy bed frame. Go Mayoi 🎉♧ The infamous "drawer of suspicious items" is the bottom drawer of his nightstand.♧ On his nightstand is his Tatsumi shrine. Click for description of the Tatsumi shrine. :)
MMD credits
Room - kaahgomendl
Bed - ゲスト
Drawers - Oyama
Lamp - Haluk Hatipoglu
Box cutter - Pocky-Poison
Jar - artemis1031
Cross - destony001
Desk - 操ちゃん
Chair - キャベツ鉢
Floor desk - エスエヌ
PC, monitors - hauntmuskie
Mouse, keyboard - ちゃーりぃ
Cushion - AwesomeAme